


The Greatest Thing

by ringaroundtheambulance



Category: Clannad
Genre: Clannad - Freeform, Father/Daughter, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 07:46:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4427141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ringaroundtheambulance/pseuds/ringaroundtheambulance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ushio is sixteen and visiting her drunken father. A visit expected to be quiet becomes much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Greatest Thing

"She said, 'boy, can I tell you a wonderful thing? I can't help but notice you're staring at me. I know I shouldn't say this but I really believe I can tell by your eyes that you're in love with me.' Now, son, I'm only telling you this because life can do terrible things." \- Terrible Things by Mayday Parade

Everything went dark when Nagisa died. The blue skies, the cherry blossoms, the smell of the small town, Ushio. It all became a puzzle piece to one big annoyance, a trap, inescapable. Tomoya was the victim of a podunk death that chained him to the stupid city forever.  
He felt her, everywhere. The whole damn world smelled like her. Ushio looked like her. The big plush toys in the corner of their bedroom reminded him of her. She was a memory he would never rid himself of; the only thing that seemed to ward away her lingering existence was alcohol.  
The strong kind.  
But no alcohol could erase the very much living proof of Nagisa's legacy, as Tomoya called it. And that proof was Ushio, little Ushio whom he wished he could love.  
The days slipped from under Tomoya's cupped hands like water in a paper bag. He picked up the bottle to take a swig, watching Ushio hiding under a kitchen chair, and when he slammed the empty bottle back down on the table, she sitting and gazing out the window, sixteen and every bit as beautiful as her mother. To him, it felt like only days since her mother was there to see just how beautiful she was.  
Ushio spent most days living with her grandparents, who were granted full custody over her. But every Sunday, she took a train to the outskirts and spent the day sitting only on that one kitchen chair, the one she hid under as a child, and waited for him to say something to her, to tell her he loved her, or that he was proud of her, or that she was beautiful like Nagisa was. But Tomoya rarely spoke to her. He watched her every move and drank the day away. It was routine.  
That Sunday was different.  
Tomoya heard the front door slam; Ushio had entered without knocking as per usual. The sun was already closer to the horizon than the top of the sky, and when she entered the sunlit kitchen-dining room, the rays of gold set her hair on fire like a match was taken to it the second she turned the corner. He looked up from his spot at the table to look at her frozen in the doorway, staring out at the field beyond the house. She thought it was a terrible place to live, and that it fit Tomoya like a glove.  
She moved to sit down with a small sigh, her eyes never leaving the big window. Today, she wanted to talk to him. She really did. The silence was a knife. The wound could not heal if she left the knife to tear up inside her.  
"Why do you never talk to me?" She said. She was a softly spoken girl. He hadn't heard her talk since she was five years old. Her voice was lower than Nagisa's was, and it was tough, almost sad, like it belonged to a girl beaten and belittled by the universe itself. There was no trace of remaining innocence in it. For a moment, he felt he wasn't so distant from her as he thought her was.  
He stuttered to find words for her question. His voice cracked from lack of use when he spoke. "I-I never knew what to say to you," he said. She didn't look at him. Her body was faced towards the window, the room growing ever more golden as the sun sunk in the sky.  
"Anything would have been okay," she said. There was a quietness that followed in which Tomoya realized she was right.  
He took a big, long chug from his drink. "You look just like her," he said finally.  
"Sanae says all the time that I do," she said with a small laugh. "Akio, too. They say she was beautiful."  
"She was. Very beautiful," he said in reply, devouring every word she spoke for the years he had spent not hearing it at all. He suddenly felt a desire to know everything about her, her life, her friends, school, passions, everything instantly seemed more important than anything.  
She could talk. He didn't know why it surprised him.  
"Tell me about her," 16-year old Ushio said, still setting her gaze on the long grass outside.  
It was a big demand for a near-tipsy Tomoya. But even so, he placed his drink down and ran a hand through his greasy hair, wondering where to begin. How to start. How to begin to describe someone as brilliant and tremendous as Nagisa.  
"I met her in school," he began, wishing Ushio would look at him, let him see those eyes he knew would be like Nagisa's. "On the way to school, actually. She was talking to herself. I don't know how we became friends at all, really. But it felt like...one day, we were eating lunch alone in the courtyard, and then I blinked, and she...she told me she and Akio she was pregnant with you." He said. He suddenly lurched forward for his drink again.  
"But tell me about her," Ushio said. "Her, as a person. I want to know."  
"Do you?" Tomoya muttered as he lifted the bottle to his lips. Right away, Ushio spun around in her chair to face him, and he nearly choked on his drink. Her eyes were fierce but soft as she looked at him. There was nothing more beautiful than her.  
"Yes please," she said, gently.  
Tomoya, still shaken by the uncanny resemblance between the girl and her mother, searched for any words in his mouth that he could use to tell her about the real Nagisa, the Nagisa he loved.  
"Nagisa...was nice. She was nice to everyone, for starters," he said roughly with a small sip from his drink. "She was nice to the mean kids, the rejects, the kids like me. She was the most loving person I ever met, and the most determined. She was sick, really sick, Ushio. And she never let it hold her back, not once." He felt Ushio's name on his tongue. It felt like a swear word.  
"She had this-" he paused for a drink. "Way about her that made everyone fall in love with her right away. But she wasn't like the popular girls. She wasn't athletic or really tough or anything. But she was stronger than any guy or girl at school."  
"Is that why you loved her?" Ushio said quietly, turning away again. The sun was almost gone now.  
Tomoya felt a lump rise in his throat, or maybe it was vomit. "I loved every single thing about her," he said.  
More silence ensued, during which the room grew steadily darker, the sun flushing it of all its beauty. Reality sunk in under the harsh yellow lights on the ceiling and the room felt like a cold and dingy drugstore. Ushio knew she should go home.  
"She was the greatest thing that ever happened to me," he said at last, when his drink was gone and he had a headache. "Ushio, please don't ever fall in love."


End file.
